Realize Your Strength

Alright, fellow coffee lovers (and non-coffee lovers), what's your favorite kind of coffee? Do you like a breakfast blend, a medium roast, or a dark roast? Are you a flavored coffee drinker? Do you like yours black, with cream and sugar, cream only, sugar only, or some other variation?

I like just about any kind of coffee, but my favorite is a dark roast coffee with cream and a little Splenda. My dad often reminds me that a serious coffee drinker doesn't need cream and sweetener, but that's just the way I like it!

If you like some level of sweetener or creamer in your coffee, you may know that it's hard to have someone else "doctor" your coffee. Unless it's a barista (can you believe we know that word?) and you give very specific instructions, it's easiest to add your own cream and sugar to get that perfect taste and strength you're looking for....not too strong, not too weak, not too bitter, not too sweet!

I love being a "keeper at home." On top of it being my part of my calling from the Lord, it's a great creative outlet and opportunity to express myself. I am not only the "housekeeper", I am the interior decorator, the chef, the seamstress and much more. I'm sure you could add your own titles to your homemaking resume. Being a homemaker can be a rewarding job, but it's also a challenging one.

If we are going to find joy and fulfillment in our role as "keepers at home", one thing we need to do is to find and realize our strengths.

I. Realize the Strength of Your Place

By this I mean, do not diminish the importance of the role you have. God has commanded us to be "keepers at home" (Tit. 2:5), and instructed us to "guide the house" (I Tim. 5:14). This is no small responsibility. If we see our place and our purpose in our homes as something that is important and precious to God, we will realize that it is not only a duty, but a joy to seek to fulfill it.

II. Realize the Strength of Your Personality

Every personality has strengths and weaknesses. We need to learn to incorporate and make the most of our strengths in every area of our lives, including our homes. We then need to ask God to help us in our weak areas. The wonderful thing is that He tells us that His "strength is made perfect in weakness" (II Cor. 12:9).

Let's look at some examples. Maybe you're an organizer and a perfectionist by nature. This can be a great strength. You may excel in the cleaning of your home, and the organization of your family. Your weakness may be that you tend to expect perfection, and feel frustrated and disappointed because it's always just out of reach. Make the most of your strength! Use your organization and detail skills to keep your home at it's best. Then ask the Lord to help you give your expectations to Him, and to enable you to relax enough to enjoy your family.

Another example may be the opposite of this. Maybe you're a very laid-back, relaxed personality. Your strength may be in the ability to be flexible and creative. You probably take the time to go outside and play with your kids, and not worry so much about the house being perfect. What a gift that is! On the other hand, you may need to ask the Lord to help you to not be so relaxed and fun-loving that you neglect the tasks of keeping your home "clean enough to be healthy".

Maybe you fall somewhere in between these two examples. The key here is to find your personal strengths, and make the most of the gifts God has given you. Then, seek God's help in your areas of weakness, and know that He is able and willing to give it.

III. Realize the Strength of Your "Palace"

Part of the joy of being a homemaker is learning to enjoy our home. If you're expecting to have your "dream house", you may live in a world of disappointment. It is easy to focus on the problems and shortcomings of our homes, instead of maximizing their potential.

My house is 80 years old. Now, I love old homes, but when we first looked at our house, it really needed some love! It has been a lot of fun to fix it up, and make it reflect our personalities and lifestyle. It has also been a lot of work! Be willing to invest in your home, not only financially, but with love and creativity.

If you're on a budget (and who's not?!), don't use that as an excuse to do nothing. Instead, use that as inspiration to get creative. Go to your library, and find books that reflect styles you like, and get ideas. Then, adapt them to your home and budget. Will it take some effort? Sure. But is it worth it? Absolutely!

View your home as your own personal "palace". Realize the strength of a welcoming home, not only to serve your family, but to serve the Lord. Use it as a place of hospitality. Your home is a reflection of you. So as you look around today, are you pleased with that reflection? More importantly, is the Lord pleased? If not, begin to make some changes. Find your strengths.

I'm going to add some before and after pictures of my home. Hope you enjoy!

Tomorrow's Topic: Are you diluted?

The "befores"

living room









living room looking into dining room









dining room









kitchen









kitchen









breakfast nook

bathroom










our bedroom









The "afters"

kitchen

living room









breakfast nook









our bedroom









bathroom











breakfast nook












living room












dining room

A Quality Blend

I am enjoying a fresh, strong cup of coffee right now. Thankfully, the coffee finished brewing before our power went back out this morning (remnants of Ike). Just because a cup of coffee is strong doesn't mean it tastes good. I can make my coffee strong by adding twice as many coffee grounds to the pot, but if I'm starting with a poor quality coffee, the flavor isn't really going to improve.

A good cup of coffee starts with fresh water and a quality blend of coffee. Now, I can't really afford to be a "coffee snob" (that's what my brother-in-law calls it), and only buy premium roasts. However, I do love a good French Roast or Dark Roast coffee. Starbucks Verona.....mmmmmm!

Our marriages need to be a "quality blend". I just celebrated my twelfth anniversary. I am so thankful to have a loving husband who loves the Lord and loves me. He is such a treasure! I want to see our marriage grow stronger every day, but I am realizing that the strength of our marriage cannot be produced without quality ingredients. We can add things to our marriage to try to improve the strength, but if these things come from the world or our own fleshly efforts, the strength is not going to be lasting or satisfying. I thought of four things that a marriage must have in order to be strong. These things are the "quality blend" that will produce a strength that is concrete, not contrived.

1. A strong marriage needs a strong foundation.

This strong foundation is, of course, the Lord Jesus Christ. We must have faith in Him, and be obedient to His Word. Think of the parable of the wise man and the foolish man who built their houses, one on the rock, the other on the sand. The wise man, whose house stood, was the man who heard and obeyed the Word of God. In order for a marriage to have lasting strength, a husband and wife need to be hearing and obeying the Word of God.

I am thankful to have a husband who is a Christian, and who is seeking to hear and obey God's Word. However, as a wife, I must always remember that I am accountable for myself. If my husband were unsaved or disobedient to the Lord, I must still do my best to follow Christ. I should also follow Christ's instruction for how to win my husband's heart to the Lord (I Pet. 2:20-3:7).

Am I doing my part to see that my marriage has a strong foundation?

2. A strong marriage needs a strong fidelity.

Fidelity seems to be an old-fashioned concept in the culture we live in. The idea of being faithful "till death do us part" is often seen more as a pretty sentiment than a binding vow. That is part of the reason that a large percent of marriages, even in "Christian" circles, are falling apart.

A strong marriage requires fidelity. Our fidelity must first be to the Lord. If I am only faithful to my husband, then if he ever fails me, I may be tempted to be unfaithful to him in return. Also, if I am not faithful first to the Lord, I can be tempted "of my own lust". However, if I realize that I have made my vows to the Lord, and my desire is to be faithful to Him, then faithfulness to my husband will come naturally.

Is my fidelity strong, both to the Lord and to my spouse?

3. A strong marriage needs a strong friendship.

This is an important component of marriage, but should not be the sole foundation. We are commanded to love our husbands (Tit. 2:4). This "love" must mature beyond the basis of our emotions. "A friend loveth at all times..." We need to have a love that is loyal and committed. We need to seek to meet the needs of our spouse.

Friendship is a strong bond, and we should always seek to build on it in our marriages. Continue to seek for common interests and common goals. Determine that your husband will be your best friend, and that no other relationships (even family) or friendships will be allowed to come between you. Many times as women, we unwittingly undermine the strength of our marriages by confiding too much in other friends, complaining too much to other friends, or simply caring more about other friend's opinions than we do our own spouse's.

Is your husband your best friend? Do other friendships stand in the way of the strength of your marriage?

4. A strong marriage needs a strong followship.

By this I mean that we must fulfill the place in our marriage that God has designed for us. As a wife, my role is to follow my husband. I am to submit to him and to obey him (Eph. 5; Tit. 2). This is not "politically correct", but it is biblically correct. This does not diminish me in any way. It simply creates strength and stability in our home because there is not a constant tug-of-war for who's in charge. If I am committed to being the wife God desires for me to be, and I desire to have a marriage that is strong, I must learn to follow the leadership of the Lord through my husband. It takes just as much faith and strength to be a follower as it does to be a leader.

If the strength of my marriage is based on the level of my submission, how strong is it today?

As we blend these four ingredients, we will find that we can have a strong marriage that is fulfilling, satisfying, and most of all pleasing to Christ. What's the quality of your blend?

Tomorrow's Topic - Worth the Wait....my journey to motherhood